a farewell to 2005

People of my age are now celebrating their New Years Eve with their friends and family. I, on the other hand, am spending it by myself. I know it’s pathetic. I am pathetic. But I think otherwise.

A New Year usually signifies the time to change, withdrawal from bad habits and telling yourself that you want to quit smoking and lose weight. But everyday, people change. You don’t need to wait for 365 days in order to change. What’s wrong with now? We were sometimes fixated on this “time” of year to change, or at least fool ourselves by keeping a list of dos and don’ts. Change, either for the good or the bad, happens everyday, every freakin’ minute.

There’s nothing wrong with celebrating this time of year. I was supposed to go to a party but I declined the invitation. I hardly knew the people invited, I’d drink alcohol that I’ll throw up any way. Am I supposed to be fantasizing that some lady will just approach me and kiss me by the struck of midnight. I’m not a sore and bitter loser but it makes no sense to me. Maybe next time but now at the moment.

Thirty minutes ago, I was with my tita’s place. My mom, sister, aunt, cousins and uncle were there and we were supposed to celebrate new year there. I left instead and decided to come home. Family gatherings and celebrations usually bore me. And I don’t feel like celebrating since not my whole family is there.

I’m spending New Year’s eve by myself. And nothing’s wrong with it.

2005, the year of hopes and dreams. Some came true while some were flushed in the toilet. I met friends and met a handful of interesting people. I went to the US for a business trip. I had a surgery. I had a year of pitfalls and broken dreams. All in all, I had a great year. Like every other year.

This is my last post for the year. I already shared my blog to all of my officemates. I wish you don’t take things personally, whatever it is that will be written in this blog. This is my blog, this is my webspace. A place where I write about my frustrations, hopes, dreams, cynic remarks, life ironies and rant after rant after rant.